at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
