I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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