i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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