I want to walk on stilts...naked
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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