So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
