My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
