Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
