Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
