She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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