Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
