Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize