They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
