plz talk dirty to me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
