is wine microwaveable?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
