all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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