Need sex. Gaining weight.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
