can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize