idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
