Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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