just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
