I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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