He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize