you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
