Don't you send me to vm
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
