We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
