Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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