Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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