Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
