It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize