Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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