Rock
Scissors
Fuck
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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