I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
