Sponge bath it is.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
