is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
