Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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