can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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