i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
