Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
