Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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