Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This can only be settled by a dance off.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
