I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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