I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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