My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
