Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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