we have pet lesbian snakes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
