No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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