Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
