Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize