Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
