Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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