Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
