just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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