It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
