My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize