No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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