Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
