The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
