This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
