It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
